Finally gave the ol diary some love and redid the page. It works for now, as I don't know where to go for the time being. Once I figure it out, it will change again of course.
I went out Saturday night and I was so eager for this chance as I have been doing so good since my whole situation went up into an uproar almost five months ago... I've been doing all I can to make sure rent and cell phone are getting paid.
I was looking and feeling good only to have my spirit be brought down as out of everyone that was at the table I was the ONLY ONE that didn't get a slow dance in. Some think that it doesn't matter, but I just wanted one dance but no such luck. I did do the line dances and did some butt shaking on a few fast songs, but nothing compares to just be in a moment and feeling like you are the only woman around when a member of the opposite sex dances with you on a slow song. It just makes the night complete.
They played our song and as I sang along with Billy Currington, I turned away from my friend so that she wouldn't see the tears well up in my eyes.
I'm just really lost right now. It's hard to explain. I'm with someone but it's almost like I'm in a long distance relationship which is not a place I enjoy being. He knows it's hard on me but I feel like my life has just stopped and is at a standstill. So many things I'd love to do but can't because even though he isn't here with me, I can't do anything.
guess that's all for the time being...